I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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