He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
