If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
