we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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