party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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