She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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