Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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