its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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