If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
