I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
