mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
