That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
