i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
