Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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