That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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