he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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