What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
