We're facebook friends in real life
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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