i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
