Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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