Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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