So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have already put on my inside pants.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
