I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
