Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
