I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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