Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
