We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
