apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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