remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
