She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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