Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
