marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
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