A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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