i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
