tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
