Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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