You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
