You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
