Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
