He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
