i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
