People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
