Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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