So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
