We named our party play list daddy issues
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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