Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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