you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
