I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
