I seem to have left my pride at pride
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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