My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
